Baby Love

Dr Saltos advising me on what to eat during my pregnancy while we were waiting for the midwife to join us. Surprise i was pregnant. After trying to have a baby for almost two years we were sooo excited when in Nov my pregnancy test turned up positive. Our family had been praying for us and so we decided to announce it to some family members at Thanksgiving so they would know their prayers had been answered. Our plan was to make a full announcement to both sides of the family at Christmas so before leaving town for the holidays i had my first prenatal appt. I was 8 weeks along and felt it. I felt nauseous, tired and could smell what was for dinner a block away. Jorge and i were both excited to see the little baby and hear the heartbeat. After all the usual discusion and testing my midwife got out the gear to start the ultrasound. After a few minutes she wasnt able to detect a heart beat. I was alarmed but both her and jorge thought maybe my dates were off and the baby was younger than we thought. So our midwife sent us to the hospital for a more high tech ultrasound. At the hospital the technician took a bunch of measurements via ultrasound. At the end I asked her if she saw a heartbeat and she said no. She said that the Radiologist would still need to look over all the information though. My heart sank. Jorge and stella were waiting for me in the waiting room and i couldnt even talk i knew that i would start balling. On the way home i cried a lot. My midwife called me on the drive home and asked where i was, after i told her i was driving she said she would call me back when i got home and thats when i knew that it wasnt going to be good news she was sharing. When she called back she informed us there were two babies in my uterus but that neither of them had a heartbeat. Apparently w/ identical twins they seperate between 7 & 8 weeks (my babies measured between 7 & 8 weeks) and she felt they didnt survive the separation. The thought of being pregnant w/ twins was a sweet one. I instantly felt a connection to them and wanted to be their mother. Im not sure what the Lord has in store for our little family but i can say that his plans are always better than mine. So tonight im choosing to trust in Him and that brings me peace... the kind that passeth all understanding.